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Test yourself on the first utterances in Sh’s Plays…

Here they are in no particular order or chronology:

  1. ‘Cease to persuade my loving Proteus;…’
  2. ‘Let fame that all hunt after in their lives…’
  3. ‘Proceed, Solanus, to procure my fall…’
  4. ‘Two households both alike in dignity…’
  5. ‘I’ll pheeze you in faith…’
  6. ‘Now say Chatillon, what would France with us…’
  7. ‘Now fair Hippolyta our nuptial hour draws on apace…’
  8. ‘In sooth I know not why I am so sad…’
  9. ‘Old John of Gaunt, time-honoured Lancaster…’
  10. ‘So shaken as we are so wan with care…’
  11. ‘Rumour open your ears; for which of you will stop the vent of hearing when loud rumour speaks…’
  12. ‘Sir Hugh persuade me not…’
  13. ‘I learn in this letter Don Pedro of Aragon comes this night to Messina…’
  14. ‘In delivering my son from me, I bury a second husband…’
  15. ‘O for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention…’
  16. ‘As I remember Adam, it was upon this fashion…’
  17. ‘To sing a song that old was sung, from ashes Ancient Gower is come…’
  18. ‘If music be the food of love play on…’
  19. ‘Hung be the heavens with black, yield day to night…’
  20. ‘As by your high imperial majesty…’
  21. ‘I wonder how the king escaped our hands…’
  22. ‘Good day sir…’
  23. ‘Now is the winter of our discontent…’
  24. ‘Aeschulus!..’
  25. ‘I come no more to make you laugh…’
  26. ‘You do not meet a man but frowns…’
  27. ‘Bosun!..’
  28. ‘I thought the king had more affected the Duke of Albany than Cornwall…’
  29. ‘Before we proceed any further hear me speak…’
  30. ‘If you shall chance Camillo, to visit Bohemia…’
  31. ‘In Troy, there lies a scene…’
  32. ‘Who’s there?..’
  33. ‘Hence! Home you idle creatures get you home…’
  34. ‘When shall we three meet again…’
  35. ‘Nay, but this dotage of our general’s o’erflows the measure…’
  36. ‘Noble Patricians patrons of my right…’
  37. ‘Tush! never tell me…’

Alright so we can agree by the number that Two Noble Kinsmen is not one of them. Some are obvious, others not so. If you consider yourself a scholar try timing yourself. Enjoy!

Shakespeare without tears…

…by Margaret Webster, published first by McGraw-Hill in 1952. Pretty much the same point of view that I take is shared by this author. He is to be found in the verse and there lies his genius.

I had a read of Stanley Well’s chapter ‘The originality of Shakespeare’s sonnets’ in his book ‘Looking for Sex in Shakespeare’. I found that Samuel Butler, who wrote ‘erewhon’ and ‘the way of all flesh’ plus ‘Shakespeare’s Sonnets Reconsidered’ of 1899, managed to memorise the Sonnets within a few months!! Then he daily repeated 25 of them to complete the saturation process.

Helen Vendler also claims to have memorised them all. As does i believe Simon ‘the one who played amadeus on stage but not the film’ Callow. Probably Some Guy from New York has quite a few in memory too. Anyone know anybody else who claims to have memorised them all?

‘No longer mourn for me…

…when i am dead, than you shall hear the sullen sullen bell give warning to the world that i am fled from this vile world with vildest worms to dwell:’ Q71.

R.I.P. Jaap van Heezick. A man of Falstaffian proportions and appetites. A true friend to my love, whose heart is torn by the loss. In turn my own tears well up at such an unlikely pair of friends being separated. For better or for worse is not just a marriage vow, it belongs to friendship too.

Dr Ralph Stanley & the Clinch Mountain Boys, who Jaap introduced me to, says it all in the song, ‘O Death’. Jaap’s wife is from the mountain area and his English was tinged with the same beautifully lilting accent, closest they say to Elizabethan english.

There’s something cleansing about grief, especially when death has taken its time arriving. It makes me love my love so much more. Will you miss me when i’m gone? Ouch! You will never know how much.

A dreamy nightmare fit for aching…

…woke up terrified and horrified that my own subconscious could be so cold. some sadistic id inside focusing on punishing my own self, the part of me that likes to think it’s me. he took on the shape of a notorious english actor but larger than in real life, i met him, he too is short like the others.

The menace ingratiated himself into every one around me and no-one would believe my warnings. he had an answer for their every objection and found his way into my inner circle, at least those coming round to my fictitious flat. how twisted geography becomes in nightmarish dreams. the inevitable massacre i skipped out on to save for my conscious mind to ruminate on. a bloodbath of that i’m sure. he is still there, waiting…

‘Thus have I had thee as a dream doth flatter,
In sleep a King, but waking no such matter.’
Q87.

Brighton…

…Ever since I was a child and my sister married a policeman there, this coastal city attracted me to return. The seagulls are some of the largest and most preternatural I have ever seen. I caught one staring at me like Pinky stared at the waitress in Brighton Rock.
As you exit the railway station, veer right and kitty-corner across the street is a sign above the Grand Central pub, quoting Castiglione: ‘That which we consider to be true art, doesn’t appear to be art at all’.

The Nightingale Theatre group is devoted to the search for truth in theatrical representation. I’ve studied Saviolo’s fencing technique there as well as the Belcanto singing technique; both Elizabethan period inventions. Carol Baggot-Forte is a voice teacher using the Advanced Vocal Instruction devised in its present shape by Cornelius Reid.

The master-class consisted of a half hour with Carol whilst an audience watched. Talk about learning the difference between objective and subjective! She is an amazing teacher and all fears are washed away as you learn to vocalise and energise the chest and head voice to the best of your ability.

The chest is actually full of organs so isn’t really a resonance chamber, except for bone conduction of course. The falsetto or head voice in my case isn’t used enough. The vocal folds are actually what do the work of singing. Once they start vibrating, the rest is in principle easy.

Principles however cannot compensate for the posture, bad habits, and fixed problems most of us exhibit when trying to sing. The work is about learning how you yourself inhibit this most amazing instrument. Now where do i find instruction like that in Amsterdam?

‘For summer and his pleasures wait on thee,
And thou away, the very birds are mute,
Or if they sing, t’is with so dull a cheer,
That leaves look pale, dreading the winter’s near.’
Q97.

Swansea…or Wales is not Whales, Loon!

There are only 14 references to swans in his complete works. Here they are all said and done:

1 Antony and Cleopatra
[III, 2]

Antony

˜Her tongue will not obey her heart, nor can
Her heart inform her tongue,”the swan’s
down-feather,
That stands upon the swell at full of tide,
And neither way inclines.

Ever watch a swan when the wind is blowing? They have an incredible facility to capture wind through their wings. They can billow them out and float by like a galleon at full-sail. They can appear motionless, though if you look at their feet underwater, the effort is visible.

2 As You Like It
[I, 3]

Celia

I did not then entreat to have her stay;
It was your pleasure, and your own remorse;
I was too young that time to value her,
But now I know her. If she be a traitor,
Why so am I: we still have slept together,
Rose at an instant, learn’d, play’d, eat together;
And wheresoe’er we went, like Juno’s swans,
Still we went coupled and inseparable.

This metaphor is the quality I had when writing in the ‘Swans necking…’ post. The love between swans is elegant, poised, and true. Their voice remains the same as in Sh’s time. No Roy Hart, Feldenkrais, Alexander techniques necessary in their vocal evolution.

3 Cymbeline
[III, 4]

Imogen

Where then
Hath Britain all the sun that shines? Day, night,
Are they not but in Britain? I’ the world’s volume
Our Britain seems as of it, but not in ‘t;
In a great pool a swan’s nest: prithee, think
There’s livers out of Britain.

What this little speech means, I haven’t a clue! Britain is a swan’s nest in a big pool, yeah but that last line ‘prithee, think there’s livers out of Britain’? Out of context or what?

The verse is anyway chopped to bits with some form of outburst indicated. Also it is Cymbeline, one of those weird later problem plays he wrote, and Innogen or Imogen is a complicated young female character. She kinda follows the mold of Prospero’s daughter.
4 Henry VI, Part I
[V, 3]

Earl of Suffolk

An earl I am, and Suffolk am I call’d.
Be not offended, nature’s miracle,
Thou art allotted to be ta’en by me:
So doth the swan her downy cygnets save,
Keeping them prisoner underneath her wings.

Swan as protective parent metaphor. Cygnet to swan, i’ve watched it happen. I love the way they change colour from student grey to the regal bridal dress they reach at adulthood.

5 Henry VI, Part III
[I, 4]

Richard Plantagenet (Duke of Gloucester)

The army of the queen hath got the field:
My uncles both are slain in rescuing me;
And all my followers to the eager foe
Turn back and fly, like ships before the wind
Or lambs pursued by hunger-starved wolves.
My sons, God knows what hath bechanced them:
But this I know, they have demean’d themselves
Like men born to renown by life or death.
Three times did Richard make a lane to me.
And thrice cried ‘Courage, father! fight it out!’
And full as oft came Edward to my side,
With purple falchion, painted to the hilt
In blood of those that had encounter’d him:
And when the hardiest warriors did retire,
Richard cried ‘Charge! and give no foot of ground!’
And cried ‘A crown, or else a glorious tomb!
A sceptre, or an earthly sepulchre!’
With this, we charged again: but, out, alas!
We bodged again; as I have seen a swan
With bootless labour swim against the tide
And spend her strength with over-matching waves.

Always wanted to see this. That’ll take that smug grin from their beaks! just kidding, but there is a fascination in watching a disaster happen. They too far away to be able to help, you watch helplessly as all hope fades.

6 King John
[V, 7]

Prince Henry

O vanity of sickness! fierce extremes
In their continuance will not feel themselves.
Death, having prey’d upon the outward parts,
Leaves them invisible, and his siege is now
Against the mind, the which he pricks and wounds
With many legions of strange fantasies,
Which, in their throng and press to that last hold,
Confound themselves. ‘Tis strange that death
should sing.

I am the cygnet to this pale faint swan,
Who chants a doleful hymn to his own death,
And from the organ-pipe of frailty sings
His soul and body to their lasting rest.

Still harping on Cygnets! The swan-song is that last tearful dirge tinged with magic right? The cygnet partaking in the dying of its mother. Twice as sad. This whole swan metaphor is the crowning conceit on this meditation on death.

7 Merchant of Venice
[III, 2]

Portia

Away, then! I am lock’d in one of them:
If you do love me, you will find me out.

Nerissa and the rest, stand all aloof.
Let music sound while he doth make his choice;
Then, if he lose, he makes a swan-like end,
Fading in music: that the comparison
May stand more proper, my eye shall be the stream
And watery death-bed for him. He may win;
And what is music then? Then music is
Even as the flourish when true subjects bow
To a new-crowned monarch: such it is
As are those dulcet sounds in break of day
That creep into the dreaming bridegroom’s ear,
And summon him to marriage.

The lover may under-go a ‘swan-like end’. There you go rhetoricians, a shorthand for the whole charade that is the swan-song. Once again the dulcet tones of music are reminding us of a swan’s honking and very full-throated voice as it fades and dies.

8 Merry Wives of Windsor
[V, 5]

Falstaff

The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute
draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me!
Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy Europa; love
set on thy horns. O powerful love! that, in some
respects, makes a beast a man, in some other, a man
a beast. You were also, Jupiter, a swan for the love
of Leda. O omnipotent Love! how near the god drew
to the complexion of a goose! A fault done first in
the form of a beast. O Jove, a beastly fault! And
then another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think
on ‘t, Jove; a foul fault! When gods have hot
backs, what shall poor men do? Fo?>< r me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest. Send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe? Bit of comic relief by Falstaff, in the play written entirely for him. Sh. wrote it in 2 weeks according to the custom that Elizabeth 1st commissioned its writing. Randy old buck that Falstaff! Imagine the delight of delivering that last line, as soliloquy returns to the conclusive narrative, the expectation that can be hung throughout a whole theatre, ...'my doe?' We're in Act 5 remember and the audience is already steeped in dramatic irony, as the whole of 'Merry Wives of Windsor' could easily be labelled the first farce. 9 Othello
[V, 2]

Emilia

What did thy song bode, lady?
Hark, canst thou hear me? I will play the swan.
And die in music.
[Singing]
Willow, willow, willow,
Moor, she was chaste; she loved thee, cruel Moor;
So come my soul to bliss, as I speak true;
So speaking as I think, I die, I die.’

The Moor, fool he! A handkerchief and whispered suspicions lead him to his fitful dying fall. Desdemona’s servant Emilia, playing her swan-song.

10 Phoenix and the Turtle

Sh: the authors persona

Line13

Let the priest in surplice white,
That defunctive music can,
Be the death-divining swan,
Lest the requiem lack his right.

Hmmm! 7 beats to line. ‘Can’ rimes with ‘swan’. Curiouser and curiouser.
11 Rape of Lucrece

Line 1060
Sh: the authors persona

‘The crow may bathe his coal-black wings in mire,
And unperceived fly with the filth away;
But if the like the snow-white swan desire,
The stain upon his silver down will stay.
Poor grooms are sightless night, kings glorious day:
Gnats are unnoted wheresoe’er they fly,
But eagles gazed upon with every eye.

The purity of the swan is corrupted by Tarquin’s lustful thoughts. A bit like Jove with Leda actually.

12 Rape of Lucrece

Line 1662
Sh: the author’s persona

And now this pale swan in her watery nest
Begins the sad dirge of her certain ending;
‘Few words,’ quoth she, ‘Shall fit the trespass best,
Where no excuse can give the fault amending:
In me more woes than words are now depending;
And my laments would be drawn out too long,
To tell them all with one poor tired tongue.

Poor Lucrece most chaste and beautiful of all wives. But for her husband’s bragging of her at camp, she might have been saved. Or does the tragedy all lie in Tarquin’s camp?

13 Romeo and Juliet
[I, 2]

Benvolio

At this same ancient feast of Capulet’s
Sups the fair Rosaline whom thou so lovest,
With all the admired beauties of Verona:
Go thither; and, with unattainted eye,
Compare her face with some that I shall show,
And I will make thee think thy swan a crow.

Benvolio (trans. Good Will, lol) tries to convince his friend Romeo that this new chickie, Juliet, is no better than his old chickie, Rosalind. Teenagers! Before you know it someone is pregnant, poisoned or dead.

14 Titus Andronicus
[IV, 2]

Aaron

What, what, ye sanguine, shallow-hearted boys!
Ye white-limed walls! ye alehouse painted signs!
Coal-black is better than another hue,
In that it scorns to bear another hue;
For all the water in the ocean
Can never turn the swan’s black legs to white,
Although she lave them hourly in the flood.
Tell the empress from me, I am of age
To keep mine own, excuse it how she can.’

Typical of Aaron, one of Sh’s most vile characters to choose a metaphor featuring a swan’s ugliest feature. The metaphor is lavishly bathed in the truth.

Swans necking…

…I swear. 2am post comedy cafe, 2 shows. A bit of sonneteering from 90-96 with memory drops on 93, 94 and 95 under the europarking. I-pod shuffle on ‘At 17’, trying to learn the words on the bike ride home. ‘I learned the truth at 17,…’

Stop at the water to watch the swans. One sleeping softly, neck coiled and tucked in, from swelling breast to resting wing. Further upstream 2 other swans engage in a full on love session, elongated then curled necks make heart shapes with one another. Reflecting themselves geometrically in the water. it’s one of those dark clear nights when reflections reveal a real mirror of reality.

A third swan, not less downy white, stretches its neck and honks a wistful cry to sleeping swan, who awakes. The pair slowly glide my way and i did ‘Shall I compare thee…’ to their waiting ears (do swans have ears)?

‘The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon! where gott’st thou that goose look?’ Mac. Act 5: Sc 3. The only instance of ‘loon’ in Shakespeare and it isn’t the bird with the distinctive call. Its cognate is ‘lown’ or a rogue, sluggard or worthless idiot.
A swan is a swan now as then. Our Shakes, aka the Sweet Swan of Avon captured that level of truth. The grace and beauty of a swan is timeless. The timeless moments in life make life worth living for. Such a truth in the words of that sonnet.

‘But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,
nor shall death brag thou wander’st in his shade,
when in eternal lines to time thou grow’st.’ Q18.

Losing Time, gaining Time…

Winter-time, or the time of year when the clocks go back an hour caught me out again. There was a time when it would have made me angry, that missed extra hour in bed, the too sudden arrival at work and no choice but to stay until it’s really time. It’s not a good way to start the winter.

Summer-time conversely I usually sleep through the extra hour, or miss an hour’s drinking time when suddenly 1am is 3am. Less summer, robbed again. Time is a thief and an illusion. Actually it’s the flip-side of eternity and eternal truth.

‘Thou by thy dial’s shady stealth mayst know,
Time’s thievish progress to eternity.’ Q77.

Auditions…

Hate ’em, love ’em! le voglio bene e l’odio. Je les deteste, je les aime. Hass und Liebe. quiero mucho, quiero menos.

especially if there is a payoff any thesp would slaver over. the chance, the opportunity, the regrets, the hope, the i knew it right away. What pain, what pleasure. Be in the moment and do nothing more than be yourself. They know what they are looking for. Maybe you’re it, maybe you’re not.

Besides it’s not just the casting director who chose you to take part. Nor the production company that hired them in. Nor the director who leads the crew during filming. There is always the client, the one paying for it all. All of these have a say, while the actors have their day dreaming on good things to come.

toi toi. merda merda merda. break a leg, fool!

23 topicks in a comickall vein…

1. When about to enter a war…

‘In peace, there’s nothing so becomes a man,
as modest stillness, and humility:
but when the blast of war blows in our ears,
then imitate the action of the tiger:
Stiffen the sinews, commune up the blood,
disguise fair nature with hard-favour’d rage’:

Henry the Fifth: act 2 sc.1

2. After the loss of a child

‘Grief fills the room up of my absent child:
lies in his bed, walks up and down with me,
puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words,
remembers me of all his gracious parts,
stuffs out his vacant garments with his form’;

King John: Act 3: Sc.4

3. After the accidental killing of your son on a battlefield

Thou that so stoutly hath resisted me,
Give me thy gold, if thou hast any gold:
For I have bought it with an hundred blows.
But let me see: is this our foe-mans face?
Ah, no, no, no, it is mine only son.

The Third Part of Henry the Sixth

4. In a traffic jam

Oh God, methinks it were a happy life,
To be no better than a homely swain,
To sit upon a hill as I do now,
To carve out dials queintly, point by point,
Thereby to see the minutes how they run:
How many makes the hour full complete,
How many hours bring about the day,
How many days will fill up the year,
How many years, a mortal man may live.

5. Before you read your horoscope

‘Not from the stars do I my judgement pluck,
And yet methinks I have astonomy’

Sonnet 14:1.2

6. When you’re angry with the dog for peeing on something

‘When didst thou see me heave up my leg, and make water against a gentlewoman’s farthingale? didst thou ever see me do such a trick’?

Two Gentlemen of verona: Act 4: Sc.4 Monologue of the servant Launce to his dog Crab.

7. When confronted by technology you don’t understand..

F**k f**k f**k!!! (WS at his computer)

8. Song for a rainy day in amsterdam

‘He that has and a little tiny wit-
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain-
Must make content with his fortunes fit,
For the rain it raineth every day.’

King lear Act 3: Scene 2. The Fool.

9. When confronted with a stupid person? Man?

“the fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows he is a fool”

…’Then learn this of me, to have is to have;
for it is a figure in rhetoric that drink,
being poured out of a cup into a glass,
by filling the one doth empty the other’;

AYLI 5.1.39-42

10. When being pressed by a woman for a compliment?

‘T’is beauty that doth oft make women proud;
But God he knows, thy share thereof is small:’

HVI pt.3 1.4. York

11. On feeling superior then foolish upon cutting your finger whilst preparing food

‘and as he pluck’d his cursed steel away:
Mark how the blood of Caesar followed it,
as rushing out of doors, to be resolv’d
if Brutus so unkindly knock’d , or no:

…This was the most unkindest cut of all.’

Julius Caesar Act 3 Sc. 2

12. On quitting drinking

‘Refrain tonight:
and that shall lend a kind of easiness to the next abstinence:
the next more easy; for use almost can change the stamp of nature,
and master the devil, or throw him out with wondrous potency.’

Hamlet 3.4.

13. After a friend confesses that they killed your houseplants

‘Gardener, for telling me this news of woe, I would the plants thou graft’st, may never grow’.

Richard the Second: Act 3: Sc quarta Queen’s exit.

14. On sitting alone in dentist’s waiting-room

‘I am cabin’d, cribbed, confined, bound in to saucy doubts and fears’,

Macbeth 3.4.24

15. What to say when you know someone is always late and they promise to be there

‘if you break one jot of your promise or come one minute behind your hour, I will think you the most pathetical break-promise’,

As You like It: Act 4: Sc. 1.1

16. On learning your partner is cheating at chess

‘We will be revenged: revenge! about! seek, burn, fire, kill, slay! Let not a traitor live’!

Julius Caesar: Act 3: Sc. 2

17. On learning your partner is cheating

‘When my love swears that she is made of truth,
I do believe her though I know she lies’,

Sonnet 138.1.2

18. When arguing with a reluctant partner as you leave the room:

‘If you think so, then stay at home, and go not’.

The reply after a moment’s thought:

‘Nay, that i will not’.

The Two Gentlemen of Verona: Act 2: Sc. 7

19. On feeling tired after searching through books and books

‘These eyes, like lamps, whose wasting oil is spent, wax dim, as drawing to their exigent’.

the first Part of Henry the Sixth: Act 2 Sc. 5

20. On realising some of your friends are unworthy of you

friendship’s full of dregs: methinks false hearts should never have sound legs. Thus honest fools lay out their wealth on courtesies…

O that men’s ears should be to counsel deaf,
but not to flattery!

Timon of Athens: Act 1.2 Apemantus commenting on Timon’s gullibility.

21. What not to say at a dinner-party

Live loath’d and long, most smiling, smooth, detested parasites,
courteous destroyers, affable wolves, meek bears;
you fools of fortune, trencher-friends, time’s flies,
cap-and-knee slaves, vapours and minute-jacks!
Of man and beast the infinite malady crust you quite o’er!

Timon 3.6

22. On buying clothes

Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
but not express’d in fancy; rich, not gaudy:
for the apparel oft proclaims the man;

Hamlet 1.3 Polonius advice to his son Laertes on his returning to Paris to study.

23. On wasting time

Time hath, my lord, a wallet at his back,
Wherein he puts alms for oblivion,
A great-sized monster of ingratitudes:
Those scraps are good deeds past; which are devour’d
As fast as they are made, forgot as soon
As done:

Troilus and Cressida Act 3: Scene 3. Ulysses.